Escapist Routes #27

Too Close

Too Close is a three-episode ITV drama from 2021, starring Emily Watson as a troubled forensic psychiatrist and a pre-Andor Denise Gough as her patient/subject, a middle class suburban mother who drove her car — containing her daughter and her friend’s daughter — off a bridge. As the title suggests, professional boundaries are quickly set aside as the two women argue, bond and eventually confide in one another.

“Sounds gay,” you might say, and you’d be sort of right, but actually all the queerness is in Gough’s best friend, a hot bisexual woman who moves into the neighbourhood with her wife and immediately claims Gough’s tattoos, perfume and husband for herself.

Yes, my friends, we’re in Predatory Black Queer Woman territory. Right up until the third episode, where the story belatedly realises what it’s doing, moves that character to the backburner, and pivots to being about psychosis induced by lorazepam withdrawal.

It’s not great, but my household is sick (again) and three episodes of nonsense was about all we could stomach. The series is based on a novel which was written by an actress, who then wrote the screenplay, and frankly there’s a lot of dialogue that’s written mostly because actors will enjoy delivering it. The performances are great, but at just three episodes, I think it overstayed its welcome.

(We also attempted to watch The Girlfriend, a new British drama on Amazon Prime. It turns out to be about the dangers of dating outside of your class. It feels like British television is well into its Brexit era.)

Task, season 1, episode 1

This is a new series from the team behind Mare of Easttown. We’re back in Philadelphia, but instead of no-nonsense women, we’re following sad men. Specifically Sad Ex-Priest Turned FBI Agent Mark Ruffalo and Superficially Happy But Is He, Really? Garbage Collector Who Moonlights Robbing Drug Houses Tom Pelphrey. Both men are single fathers, and both are kind of failing at adulthood in different ways.

Task is a slow burn, and it’s too soon to say how I feel about it, save that obviously the solution to the Male Loneliness Epidemic is to let men have nemeses again. The performances are good; obviously Ruffalo is a standout, but I also rate Emilia Jones as Robbie’s niece. I’m optimistic for a Gritty cameo, if not in the series itself, then definitely in the SNL sketch that will appear when the week to week buzz gets big enough.

Alien: Earth, season 1, episode 6

I’ve figured out who Eyeball Alien reminds me of!

Back in June, my flatmate and I visited a cat shelter in the hopes of meeting some new furry sons, and along the way, we were introduced to … Mr Cuddles.

Mr Cuddles is a very handsome Siamese cat, and when we met him, he was eager for pets and scritchies. He purred and rubbed his face on our hands, and generally gave the impression of being the perfect cat.

But, the volunteers warned us, this was a lie. Mr Cuddles is, in fact, a psychopath. He bites humans, and cannot live with other cats because he likes to sexually assault them (even though he has been neutered for many years). He is so smart, he has learned how to lie. He always has the brain cell and he is always using it for evil.

I don’t want to besmirch Eyeball Alien’s good name, but I get the same vibe from her. She’s always watching, always planning. Much like Kirsh, she observes events unfolding around her, with the kids and the aliens and the xenomorph, and she only interferes to make matters worse.

Last week, I said I thought she could be an ally against the xenomorph. I actually still think that’s true, but she’s also a prisoner who wants her freedom. She may have tried to save the Maginot scientist from the ticks last week, but here she all but served Isaac up to the flies on a platter. (RIP Isaac, this is why we don’t let children do dangerous lab work.)

Just like Kirsh, watching as Slightly gives Arthur Sylvia to the facehugger. I can make a guess as to Eyeball Alien’s motives, but Kirsh remains a mystery. Has he been hacked by Yutani? Does he value the science over the lives of his protegées? Does he just want to watch the world burn? He’s a creepy little Labubu and no mistake.

Also creepy: the revelation that Neverland is a “yes place”, meaning that the kids effectively don’t know how to give or withhold consent to, say, having their memories wiped. I thought Joe gave a very effective and age-appropriate explanation of the power of no to Wendy, and she in turn applies that lesson in her conversation with Dame Sylvia.

Better and further particulars of creepiness: Boy Kavalier’s feet. It’s very funny that the subreddit bros are complaining that he doesn’t seem like a “real” genius, because everything he’s doing is straight out of the Steve Jobs playbook, right down to being better at negotiations than actual innovation or science. Here’s a gross fact: Jobs used to walk around barefoot, and would wash his feet in the toilets at Apple HQ. Hey, if I need to know that, so do you.

My point is, Kavalier is almost a textbook example of a tech bro grifter, one who is genuinely intelligent and creative, but not as much as he thinks. None of these trillionaires are, which is why we are all doomed.

FINAL NOTE: that scene? In the lift? Where Morrow and Kirsh are threatening one another and taunting each other about obsolescence and pain receptors? Unfortunately I now ship it.

Foundation, season 3, episode 10

THIS SHOW, YOU GUYS.

I thought I knew how it was going to end: Magnifico is the “real” Mule, choosing the side of good through his friendship with Bayta, and Day will kill Dusk, and he and Dawn will become the last Cleons.

In my defence, the Magnifico twist is how the books went. So it does make sense that the TV series would change it, but BAYTA?

Apparently I’m the very last person on earth to be surprised by this, because it was a popular fan theory. And it makes total sense that a kid who was rejected by her parents and who craves unconditional love would become a social climbing influencer. It also explains why she’s been allowed to spend the last few episodes chilling in the infirmary with Dawn instead of being, you know. A prisoner. I have been TRICKED and I am DELIGHTED.

(I am also delighted that she has gotten away, to cause chaos and mischief and, okay, mass death once again. I really hope she and Toran can work it out. In the books, Magnifico changes sides because Bayta — a space housewife and only the second female character in the whole series — is kind to him and treats him as a person. I feel like Toran could take that role here.)

BACK ON TRANTOR, NOTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN. I mean, it is, but it’s Brother Dusk-now-Darkness’s plans, and he is officially The Worst Cleon.

All the gestating clones: dead. Brother Day: dead. Demerzel: dead. Darkness has fallen over the genetic dynasty, just as Hari Seldon predicted, and it’s played by Terrence Mann.

Okay, for the record, I do not believe Demerzel is dead. Yes, her body has been destroyed, but I’m pretty confident that her consciousness is stored in the Prime Radiant, so we haven’t seen the last of Demerzel. Or, I hope, Laura Birn. Especially now that the stolen robot head has formed a clasp with the other robots (WHO ARE ON THE MOON ORBITING THE EARTH). (It’s also possible that Demerzel’s consciousness is in that robot head. Suffice to say, she’s a smart robot and kept her iCloud backups current.)

I also don’t think we’ve seen the last of Lee Pace, although I fear we’ve lost Cassian Bilton, and the next time we see Brother Dawn, he’ll be Pace-shaped. Basically I expect season 4 to come with a time jump of a few years, rather than a few centuries.

Chief of War, season 1, episode 8

In general I like Jason Momoa’s acting, but also find him tiresome as a person. Which makes him the ideal choice to play Ka’iana, who is also tiresome at this point in the series.

But that’s intentional. This is an episode about stubborn men, specifically Ka’iana and Kamehameha, refusing to admit they were wrong OR give credit to the other for being right. And meanwhile, Kaʻahumanu and Kūpūʻohi are trying to persuade their husbands to be more flexible and reasonable.

Which they do, but not before Nāhi, Ka’iana’s handsomest brother, is murdered. Kahekili and Keōua, knowing the finale is close, are ramping up their offensive.

It’s rough, man. I think this is a good series, but eight episodes in, I’m not sure I enjoy it. On the other hand, a series about the unification of Hawai’i that isn’t brutal would be to some extent dishonest. Maybe I’m simply not in the right place for this amount of skull crushing right now.