The post title comes from episode 2 of Domina, which does not make good convalescence TV.

In a lot of ways, this is my fault for going out and getting a degree in Classics. I was pretty mediocre, but I retained some key facts. Like, when Tiberius Claudius Nero says to some random guy-us, “You’re Livia’s legal guardian,” I’m like, “Bro, you’re her husband, you are her legal guardian.”

And when Livia tells Off-Putting Twink Octavian that he should marry her because she comes from an ancient patrician family and his ancestors are no one, I’m throwing a pillow at my TV and shouting, “FIRST OF ALL, the Octavians were an ancient and respectable plebeian clan, SECOND his mother was a JULIA, THIRD, he was ADOPTED by CAESAR HIMSELF.”

I mean, I think that if Augustus was completely cool and chill about his ancestry, he wouldn’t have commissioned Virgil to write an epic poem highlighting his Trojan ancestry and also the fact that Aeneas’s mother was literally a goddess, but that’s not what is happening on screen, and now the pillows are flying again—

So maybe it’s also Domina’s fault for playing fast and loose with easily verifiable facts. It does a lot of things I like, but not well enough that I can suspend my disbelief right now.

(One thing I particularly liked was the scene from which I stole this week’s subject line, in which Off-Putting Twink Octavian floats the idea of Agrippa, his BFF, marrying Livia. He’s not against the idea! They seem to become friends! This show is at its best when it writes the characters as people, not mouthpieces for a faulty history lesson.)

You know where I can suspend disbelief? Season 6 of Law & Order: SVU. I started watching SVU from the beginning when I broke my ankle last year, and it’s the perfect companion when you’re not feeling 100%. Stories are self-contained and follow a tight formula. You don’t even need to look up from your crochet to know what’s happening, although it’s always worth taking a look at the guest star credits to see which about-to-be-famous actor is going to be the red herring of the week. It’s copaganda, but so blatant that you almost want to pat it on the head and congratulate it for trying.

What else am I watching?

The White Lotus, season 3, episode 7

Because I’ve had a lot of time on my hands lately, I’ve spent way too many hours on r/TheWhiteLotusHBO.

It’s rough out there, guys. “What does this scene mean? Is this woman abusive or just sarcastic? Are women capable of sarcasm? Which female character is the devil incarnate and why is it Piper?”

I am not here to say that everyone is watching TV wrong but me, but I feel like a lot of people — even outside Reddit — have forgotten what this show is about. Very few characters receive any sort of comeuppance; most don’t even get as far as self-awareness — and if they do, they’re not capable of meaningful change. The White Lotus is a deeply cynical series in every season.

This makes it more interesting when characters do learn and grow. Take, for example, Gaitok, who has realised over the course of the season that he is a dedicated Buddhist who doesn’t want to engage in violence, even though becoming a tough bodyguard would be good for his career/earning potential/sexual appeal.

With self-knowledge comes wisdom, and so it’s as he’s discussing this with Mook that he realises Valentin and his Russian bros were involved in the robbery. The question now is what he’ll do with that knowledge, and whether it will get him or anyone else killed.

Then there’s Saxon. He’s had a rough time on this trip, what with the incest and being treated as a sexual object by Chloe and Greg/Gary, and his dad totally checking out. Saxon is achieving self-awareness and expressing vulnerability; he even tries to find something new, in terms of accepting a meditation lesson from Chelsea. But his core personality asserts itself, and he makes a pass at her, so she sends him on his way. Chelsea is here to fix one (1) pitiable white man, and it’s not Saxon.

And then there’s Frank, who has relapsed thanks to Rick’s scheming, and Rick, who has achieved … a sense that his revenge is futile? A new appreciation for Chelsea? (Please.) I do not care about these men.

Is anyone else in a position to change? Possibly Piper, who seems to be realising that it will take more than a spiritual retreat to escape her family. Tim’s suicidal ideation is worsening, and his hypothetical body count is going up. Taking Greg’s money would change Belinda’s perception of herself as a moral person.

Jaclyn tells Laurie that she (Laurie) is the common factor in her (Laurie’s) unhappiness. This is cruel, and overlooks systemic issues, but ALSO Jaclyn unintentionally calls herself out. Does Laurie put herself in unhappy situations and stay there? Well, she’s still friends with Jaclyn, soooooooooooooooo.

And I think Laurie can see that. She leaves the group and has a fun night on her own. Yes, it ends in her climbing out a window to escape her one night stand’s angry girlfriend, and that’s after said guy hits her up for cash, but once she gets back to the resort, that’s a fun story to tell over cocktails. She has broken her mould, at least for one night, and the world didn’t end. I want Laurie and Chelsea to become friends and develop their self-esteem together. The White Lotus But It’s A Therapy Retreat And Everyone Comes Out Better Than They Went In.

The widespread criticism that I absolutely share with everyone is that the pacing this season is abysmal. Season 3 has two extra episodes, and has mostly used them to hold some arcs in stasis while others advance, and not in a chill “this is so good you don’t even notice” way. How long has Jason Isaacs been popping lorazepam and fantasising about murder-suicide now? Too long.

And the nature of The White Lotus is that it is so cynical and mean-spirited that … maybe the audience doesn’t want to stay with it for such a long period. Maybe it’s not quite good enough to justify itself. (Compare with Succession, which is also cynical and mean-spirited, but also so good and so funny that it’s hard to look away.)

Maybe we’re at the end of the vacation and longing for our own beds.

Yellowjackets, season 3, episode 9

Yellowjackets continues to be a show I am watching, for some reason. In which multiple generations of incredibly talented actresses share complex and interesting scenes that ultimately add up to a big, fat nothing.

At this stage, a White Lotus crossover is the only thing that will get me watching season 4.

The Pitt, season 1, episode 14

It’s kind of ironic that I spent the two big Mass Casualty Event episodes too ankleified to really respond to them. They were good! I enjoyed them!

Now events are slowing down, in that the casualties have stopped coming in, the blood is being mopped up, and OH LOOK it’s measles time, and Noah Wyle is looking at the camera and earnestly telling you to get your kids vaccinated—

NOPE he’s angry. He’s rude to the parents (who are, admittedly, did not vaccinate their children and are now refusing treatment for their son’s complications even though there is a 20% chance of death) and he’s a complete asshole to Cassie about notifying the cops about Potential But Not Actually A Shooter David. And he’s also really good with Mel, and his former partner. But mostly we don’t get to forget that Robbie has been at work for 14 hours on the anniversary of a traumatic day, and he ended the last episode having a complete breakdown in the morgue.

I love this. I’m angry that he’s being a jerk to Cassie, who acted correctly, but letting Robbie have flaws and blind spots is good writing, and so is having his trauma and exhaustion manifest in unsympathetic and unacceptable ways.

Overall, I think The Pitt does an especially good job in presenting characters who are overall competent, but who have flaws, and sometimes those flaws come from their strengths.

Consider Cassie: she’s smart and decisive, and doesn’t tolerate bullshit. These qualities make her a good emergency doctor, and when she sees a kid who may be planning a mass shooting, she reports him to the police. (I actually wonder if there might be a mandatory reporting aspect here, but that didn’t come up with the actual potential child molester, so this is the one area where maybe The Pitt chooses to be unrealistic.)

These qualities also lead her to make mistakes. She’s unconsciously biased against a fat patient and doesn’t provide adequate care. And as much as cutting off her ankle monitor was iconic, it’s also one of those moments where taking a moment to think might have saved her from, oh, getting arrested. (See also: I mean, she has an ankle monitor.)

Don’t get me wrong, obviously it’s complete bullshit that she’s being arrested, and she took Collins’s feedback about unconscious bias with a lot of maturity. But it’s this balance that makes her a good character.

And then we come to Dr Mel King.

I love her. I want to protect her. I deeply identified with her even before Taylor Dearden said she played Mel as asexual. I think she is an outstanding character.

But as we come to the penultimate episode, I am wondering: what is Mel’s fatal flaw?

Earlier in the season, she was lamenting that she doesn’t have a “special sauce” as a healer, that certain something that makes her stand out. I think her weakness needs to come from that strength, so it’s a question worth answering.

For myself, I would guess it’s her empathy. Mel deeply connects with her patients, but that can also potentially lead to a hyperfocus on their needs over everyone else’s. This also makes sense, given her role as a caregiver for her sister. But so far, Mel hasn’t put a foot wrong.

It’s not that I want her to fail! I am rooting for every single character on this show to grow as people and doctors. But if Mel isn’t given the same layers as the neurotypical characters, she’s going to go from Amazing Representation to A Token. And I want better for her and for my show.

Australian of the Week

Shabana Azeez (Victoria Javadi, The Pitt)

I love a stealthy Australian. I had no idea nepo baby/child prodigy Javadi was played by an Aussie until she turned up in episode 6 of Apple Cider Vinegar, as a journo calling out investigative reporter Mark Coles Smith for exposing a grifter tearing down a woman in media. Which is extremely unrealistic because The Age would never employ that many journalists of colour.

She has a fairly short filmography so far, and has not appeared in a single iconic Australian soap opera, but I’m looking forward to seeing more of her.